Coffee shop from hell

So recently I went to visit my friend who works at a bakery/coffee shop before I went to work…

It was one of the most fast-paced environments I have ever been to. It was absolute anarchy. Bedlam. When I arrived, the guy at the counter started asking me a ton of questions, but I couldn’t hear him. He literally was whispering my options to me. Keep in mind, he was literally 5 feet away from me. So, as you could imagine, I ended up ordering the wrong thing. We agreed on cream. There was no cream. Later I found out he meant “room for cream.” If you meant room for cream then say ROOM FOR CREAM. Not to mention, while taking my order, a random manager comes up and asks me if I need any help. Not even kidding, it occurs while talking to an employee already. Picture me surrounded by young baristas and managers all speaking extremely fast but extremely hard to hear. I inform him that I’ve already been helped. Also, I must add, the concept of a ‘line’ does not exist in this alternative universe I have somehow stepped into. People are walking in front of me while I’m talking to the barista and the manager. People are coming in and out. No control. Mr. Barista hands me the coffee and like a stupid goon I say, “where’s the cream?” After a dead blank stare from the young barista and the manager, I realized that I was the fool in this case and briskly walked away. Kind of a fast pace getaway, but not quite. I imagine if there had been a getaway car parked right inside this place I would have dove into it and yelled, “TAKE ME TO O’HARE!”. I just knew that I had to get out of there.

Then, I go to sit down and eat my blueberry muffin, but the coffee was as dark as night. Disgusted with the taste of dirt in my mouth, I go to get some creamer. Can’t find any due to the chaos ensuing around me. People cutting me off waking in front of me. I was frazzled. I turn around and what is happening you ask? They’re taking my muffin away. THEY ARE TAKING MY MUFFIN AWAY! The manager is picking up my muffin in his hand. “We almost took your muffin” he says. Don’t take my muffin I plead.  After 4 packets of sugar, I continue with my coffee and muffin. On my way out the young barista muttered something that sounded like a mix between “have a good day” and “spray tan cray.”



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