I absolutely love horror movies. The scariest movie I have ever scene, hands down is The Exorcist. Nothing compares in my opinion. Sure, werewolves, vampires, and zombies are scary, but DEMONS. Holy shit. DEMONS!?! That absolutely terrifies me. Ghosts too. Ah! Not a fan. Those are two things that still scare me to this day. Don’t tell me that you didn’t sleep with your feet completely on the bed as a child. Don’t tell me that you didn’t check under the bed when the lights were on. Better yet, don’t tell me that you didn’t make sure the closet door was closed with a chair wedged up against it. Nope? Only me? Is this thing on? There are numerous occasions where I remember literally being scared to death. You know that moment where you just freeze in place and think you’re dead. It’s a ‘holy shit’ moment that lasts for about 5 seconds.
In 12th grade, I got my hands on the original The Amityville Horror. Of course, I decided to watch it alone on a rainy thunderstorm filled night. I remember talking with my Poppy (grandfather) about it and how he told me it was a really scary movie. Taking my chances, but knowing it could potentially be the death of me, I put the VHS tape into the machine. Yes. I said VHS tape. It was the 90’s. Turning off the lights (to heighten the excitement) and sitting down on the couch, I prepared myself for a scary good time. Literally seconds later, I hear an explosion in the alley. The TV instantly flashed off. I screamed in terror for almost a minute straight. Lightning flashed as the dog ran from the bedroom into the living room. Queue another minute of ungodly screaming. For a visual, picture Al Pacino’s epic screaming scene in The Godfather 3. Never seen it? Lucky you. Sprinting into the kitchen, I tripped and slid across the floor. You would have thought I just jumped onto a slide at a water park I slid so far. I was in a panicked state. Looking out the window I could see the cause of the explosion. A transformer blew in the alley. Sparks flew through the air. With the most important question WHAT WAS THAT being answered, I was relieved. Searching around in the dark for a phone to call someone, anyone, the television turned back on. The sound of it caused me to jump in terror again. Kill me already I thought. Is this what hell is going to be like? A never-ending cycle of being scared over and over. The TV turned on right to basic television, which coincidentally happened to be playing The Exorcist. I then had a heart attack and died. If you’re reading this you’re most likely Haley Joel Osment and just now realizing I’ve been dead the whole time.