Rock Star

My morning started as it usually does. Wake up at 7:25am and then blindly stare at my phone until around 7:40am. After I’m prepped and ready for the day I make my way to the train. While sitting on the train, a giant boarded. A girl, probably late 20’s, who was around 6’7 got on the train and sat next to me. It looked like David and Goliath. It looked as if I was on set of Attack of the 50 foot woman.  In other words, I need you to imagine that I’m sitting next to someone as tall as a building in comparison to my trollish stature. Let it be known that I’m not making fun of her height. I’m just painting the picture for you. I like taller girls. I don’t know what it is. Perhaps cause they can scoop me up and bring me back to their tower. So she sits next to me. All is well for a few stops. Then the drum solo begins. Out of the corner of my eye I see her hands slowly start air drumming. She’s going high and she’s going low. What started out as a small movement of the hands turned into a full on drum solo. She started banging her head and the legs started moving. She started slamming her feet as if she was kicking a bass drum. It looked as if she’d lost control of her body and she was possessed by some type of rock goblin. Frantic. Crazy. Imagine Animal from the Muppet’s. I looked around. The train was packed. No one noticed.Now imagine her playing air drums and using my head as a cymbal. If you’ve ever heard the song “Through the Fire and Flames” by Dragonforce then that will give you an idea of the kind of drumming that was occurring here. It’s one of the hardest songs on Guitar Hero. If you’ve never heard it, YouTube it and read the rest of this.

This went on for the entire train ride. A good 8 stops. I tried to think of some of the songs on her set list that would illicit such a rock star performance. Imagine “Won’t Get Fooled Again” by the Who. If you don’t know what song that is, it’s the one they use for the CSI intro with David Caruso and is famous for it’s YEAHHHHHHHHHHH part. YouTube it.  One minute I’m peacefully riding the train and the next I’m front row of a sold out rock concert. Not going to lie, it looked like fun. So what did I do? I had my headphones on so I looked for a rock song to listen to.  I went with “Electric Eye” by Judas Priest. Closing my eyes, I very calmly started my guitar solo moving only my right hand. In my head I imagined the giant and I rocking through a village. Blowing houses up with our sweet metal music. I imagined peaceful situations like people at a picnic and then me jumping out of a tree and rocking them out of the park. I imagined people at a birthday party and then me crashing through the wall and rocking everyone out of the room. About :46 seconds into my debut I opened my eyes. My drummer was nowhere to be found. The entire train was looking at me. I stood up, took a bow, put my imaginary guitar back in it’s case and exited the train.

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