Hot Shower? Don’t mind if I do.

Everyone loves a hot shower. It’s relaxing. It’s a good way to end the day. However, the hot water in my house is just too hot. Something I quickly learned the hard way. Imagine getting into the shower. You hop right in. For half a second you think “oh this is great.” Then, you just burst into flames. As if you were a vampire going out for a morning jog.  I’m not even kidding. The water is so hot you’d think it was powered by the sun. When I got in, I felt like microwaves were hitting my body. I instantly jumped out and rolled on the ground. I didn’t know if I should call the fire department or a priest. The fact the room was filled with steam and I couldn’t see in front of my face should have been a good indicator. I reached for the hot water valve. We have metal shower knobs. Hand instantly burned.  I grabbed a towel to wrap around my hand and end this nightmare once and for all. I readjusted the water temperature and continued to lay there on the floor with my skin emitting smoke until I felt it was time. BBQ Ryan. Once I got in it was so relaxing. Within 30 seconds the dream ended. Someone flushed the toilet in the basement and I was instantly on the sun again. Except this time it was much worse. Might as well have been molten lava that came spewing out. I felt like my skin just melted right off. I thought I looked like one of the decomposing demons from Evil Dead. As if my skin was just painted on. Imagine a skeleton standing there in the shower just shaking his head. That’s me. Jack Skellington.

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