Paying in cash, buddy?

We’ve all had those moments where we just feel like an absolute idiot. Where we babble or do something completely stupid because we weren’t thinking correctly. This happens to me often. It actually happens to me at the beginning and end of every conversation. I never know what to say when I first meet someone. The scenario typically goes like this, “Oh How are you?” and I respond, “Yea me too.” Another mishap like this happened the other day when I went to 711. Standard trip to 711 for a Slurpee  However, I had taken money out earlier in the day and specifically wanted to pay in cash so I could make change.  Like an idiot and due to force of habit, I accidentally swiped my card instead of handing the guy the cash. That’s when the nightmare began.

“Sorry, I accidentally swiped my card. I’d like to pay in cash”, I pleaded. He stared at me like I was speaking a different language. As if I had just parked my spaceship outside. I repeated my problem. He continued to stare and then walked from around the counter. The speed and determination in his stride made it look like he intended to just punch me right square in the face. In my head, I imagined him thinking, “I’m gonna put this guy out of his misery right here and now!” He stands there staring at the machine with his hands on his hips and says, “what are you talking about buddy?” I say, “I accidentally swiped the card, I want to..” but before I could finish he says, “you can’t put cash in the machine BUDDY.” I couldn’t believe what I had heard. I tell him again, “I want to pay you in cash. I ACCIDENTALLY swiped the card.” He jumped back, nodded, and replied, “ohhhhh why didn’t you say so?” Returning back around the counter we finally ended this debacle and I was able to purchase my Slurpee. I walked outside, got back in my spaceship, and got the hell out of there.


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