The Note

So I got a new phone yesterday. It’s the Samsung Galaxy S Note 2. You know. The one they’re saying is a mix between a phone and a tablet. A phablet if you will. It’s humongous. HUGH MONGOOSE. As for purchasing the phone. That was an adventure in and of itself. Queue the fast paced music from Inception. You’ll want to listen to that music while you read this. You’ll also want to imagine a clock counting down. Trust me. I got off work and immediately walked as fast as I could/borderline ran to the train. Turning corners like a hot knife through butter. People looked at me. They knew I was a man on a mission. They just didn’t know what mission I was on. Riding on the train I clinch my fists. For no reason. I get off the train and run up the stairs. In my car, I’m driving as fast as I can (35mph). I run into Best Buy and grab an employee. “Where is it!?” I scream. “We don’t have it yet!” they protest. I’m back in the car. Driving across the city to another Best Buy. I knew they had it. I just had to find it. No matter what the cost. Cut to the same exact scenario happening at the Best Buy across town. They didn’t have the phone. I’m back in the car driving as fast as I can (15 mph). To the Sprint store. As my hand touches the metal door handle, I see the employees start running for their lives. All but one guy. “The Note. Where is it?!” I yell. He smirks,  “Sold out.”I’m back in the car driving across town to the Sprint store at the mall near my house. I call them first. The phone rings while I’m changing lanes. “GET OUT OF MY WAY! Hello!? The Note. Do you have it?!” I shout. The guy coldly states, “If you ever want to see your family again”…just kidding, he says, “We’ve only got 1 left.” I ask, “Can you hold it for me?” “We’re not allowed” he tells me. I throw my phone into the back seat. It explodes. Close-up on my foot smashing down on the pedal. Pedal to the metal going as fast as I can (30mph).

In my head, I imagined myself driving right into the mall. Driving right through the mall into the Sprint store. Getting out while everyone is screaming and there’s mass panic, “I called about the Note.” Back to reality. I pull into a parking space. A wise old man that looks like George Halas sits in his car next to me. He nods. I run into the mall. I approach the store as they’re pulling the gate down. I roll under the gate. A guy in a chair stands up. He has nothing to do with this. ” I think you have something for me” I tell them. “You’re right.” Imagine an army of ninjas standing in my way of this phone. That’s not at all what happened. Cut the fast-paced music as I boringly purchase a phone. After I swipe my card and activate the new phone I receive a call. It was in the employee’s hand. “It’s for you” he tells me. The phone is the size of 14′ flat screen tv as I hold  it up to my face with 2 hands. “What do you think you’re doing?” is projected out of the phone. The phone is so large it sounds like it’s coming through the store speakers. People walking by stop and stare with confused looks. They didn’t know if the store was making an announcement or if it was the voice of God.  I pull it away from my face to see who this caller is. All eyes on me. It’s my mother. “Don’t you think we should have talked about this. You’re on my plan” she yells. Queue the music again. I’m back in my car. I drive right into the house.

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