Stare Down

SquirrelStaringFromCrookOfTreeMEDI’ll never forget one of my first stare downs. It was pretty epic. First of all, stare downs are to signify power and authority. Guys are notorious for stare downs. For some reason, I find myself getting into them all the time on the train. I’m not sure how they started, but I know I was pretty terrible at sticking to my guns and staring the entire time. . But one time. I said to myself, “I’m going to win this one. This guy is donezo.” To paint the picture for you, I think I was like 12 years old (might have been younger) and it was summer time. It was t-shirt and shorts weather and I was on a mission to get a blizzard and double cheeseburger from Dairy Queen. I remember that when I got to Dairy Queen I had to take a number. The foot traffic was outrageous. There were people on top of one another piling out of the door. It was nothing but lines. I was in line to get in. Then, I was in line to get a number. I was in line to order. After that, I was in line waiting for my food. Complete anarchy yet absolute order. There was no room to eat the food there so I decided to ride home with it. While riding back to my house is when the stare down began.

I saw the kid from a block and a half away distance. He had one of those ‘tough’ looks. A real mean face if you will. My eyes locked in on him. Imagine first person  point of view but in the style of the Terminator. Similar to what Iron Man sees when he’s in his armor. Nerd alert. In other words, I analyzed him. About 5’8, 130lbs, black hair, white t-shirt, blue jeans, Caucasian and Nike shoes. As we got closer to each other, I stood up on my bike. Why? I have no idea. I stood up while holding my bag and blizzard. Right at the moment he was about to pass me I suddenly flipped over the front of the bike. In my head I thought I’d been hit by a car. In reality, I had hit an unusually large curb-like part of the sidewalk and was sent air-borne. I remember flying through the air like I was Superman for a good 5 seconds. Then I hit the ground and was destroyed like humpty dumpty. My bag pretty much exploded and my cheeseburgers rained down from the sky. My blizzard? No where to be found. I think it may have flew into a tree. As I laid there dying and bleeding, the kid ran over to me. “HOLY SHIT! Are you alright!?!” he shouted. I couldn’t believe he asked if I was alright. I had just tried to beat him in a staring contest. I had nothing to say. I was embarrassed as all hell. He helped me to my feet and brought my bike over to me. I was dazed. I was confused. I said “thank you” and got the hell out of there. Imagine as I’m riding back home we go back to first person point of view, but this time someone is watching me up high in a tree. You see a squirrel sitting in a tree. Staring. Eating a blizzard.




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