Ladder Fights and Elevator Doors

1181501854_1From time to time, I tend to eavesdrop on other’s conversations. Yesterday at lunch, I went to Subway. First of all, I’m an idiot. I was supposed to meet my friends (Alan and Alison) for lunch. I could have sworn the meeting time was noon. So when noon came along, I went to Subway, got in line, ordered the usual foot-long oven roasted Chicken breast on Italian Herb and Cheese, argued with the employee that I didn’t want any lettuce, and then sat down and waited for my friends. I stared at the door waiting for them to enter. Longing for the loneliness and agony to end like a kid waiting for detention to get out. Finally, I decided I wasn’t going to die of starvation and began to eat. I texted my friend (Alan) that I was there and ordered already to which he replied, “I thought we were meeting at 1pm…” After a few texts back and forth, we had realized that we’re both idiots. Sometimes we go out to lunch at noon and sometimes we go out at 1. But on this day, we were all over the place. These schedules can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some schedules  just wanna watch the world burn.

As I sat there staring off into the abyss, I overheard a conversation behind me. To paint the scene for you, 2 men (approximately in their late 40’s) were sitting at separate tables, but having a conversation. Based on the back and forth dialogue, I assumed they knew each other. That or they were 2 random people who became best friends today. Throughout the conversation  the one man kept getting up and sitting in different chairs. It looked like a 1 man game of duck duck goose. Then he said, “I got hit in the back of the neck by the elevator door.” I dropped my sandwich. I couldn’t believe what I heard nor could I understand it. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE. Was he laying down? Was he bent over with his head hanging out? It makes my head hurt thinking about it. The other guy shook his head as he said, ” Been there.” BEEN THERE!? WHAT!? I had no idea what kind of world these guys were living in. Is this real life? Sometime went by as they continued rambling until the one said another iconic line that stopped me in my tracks. “My knee’s been hurting ever since the ladder fight. I was gonna take the day off, but I gotta keep working.” (Sound of record scratch). The ladder fight? I know that these guys were not professional or amateur wrestlers so what the hell was he talking about!? I was baffled. I’d heard enough. I finished my sandwich, got up, argued with the employee that I didn’t want any lettuce, and got the hell out of there.

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